I Just Had My First Chat With A Bot
(And I Wasn’t Impressed)
By John Sisson (President)
With the proliferation of data and technology — which has led to improvements in artificial intelligence and natural language interpretation — it’s now safe to assume we are rapidly entering the age of the chatbots.
When we’re conversing with a company online, we’re quickly getting to the point where we don’t know if we’re talking to a human or a machine.
The efficiency and customer service possibilities are endless… But, are bots ready for prime time?
Recently, I wanted to find out why my cell phone bill was going up. An anomaly for me. I figured online chat was the best way to see if my supplier could help. It started out fine, albeit a little fishy.
Lauren: Hello! Thanks for choosing [company name] Chat.
Lauren: Hello! My name is Lauren. I hope you are having a great day! How may I help you today?
John: Hi Lauren.
Lauren: Hey John!
John: [Insert my issue about data usage.]
Lauren: John thank you so much for letting me know this!
Lauren: I will be more than happy to take a look on this for you and see what is happening!
John: Thanks.
Lauren: John you are so welcome!
Lauren: Remember that here at [company name] we are always caring of you and your situations! 
Lauren: Please hold for me while I look into this further.
No one I know talks like this. Lauren certainly has the “we care about you” script down, but already, it’s all just a little too saccharine.
Then, there’s the grammatical error of looking “on” this for you, which seems like a red flag. Even the insertion of the emoji seems contrived, but we’re not to the actual resolution yet.
Maybe this is all moot, and Lauren is actually human.
John: Can you tell me why we’re having this issue?
Lauren: Thank you John for letting me know this
Lauren: John here in [company name] We always strive to provide the best possible customer service experience and give accurate information to our Costumers for that reason I would like to let you know that normally all devices use the data plan instead of the Wifi Connection as it is more secure
John: What???
Now we’re clearly headed off the rails.
The saccharine comments are still coming, but now they’re accompanied by things that are not actually true. A programmed answer to blame the customer. Would a person do that?
A chatbot says what the algorithm tells it to say. A human might think before speaking.
According to “Lauren”, my provider somehow ignores Wi-Fi and uses data, unbeknownst to the customer. Now, I may be wrong, but I think that would qualify as a scam.
John: Are you telling me that even though we make the choice to use Wi-Fi, [company name] is overriding this choice?
Lauren: John this is a setting that is coming with the all the devices
Lauren: My biggest advise is to turn off the data of the phones as they are connected to the wifi.
John: Lauren, this is antithetical to the text messages I’m getting.
John: Your texts say to use Wi-Fi.
Lauren: John I completely understand you and I see your pint of view
One bot is sending me texts to tell me to use Wi-Fi.
Meanwhile, another bot is chatting with me, telling me that it doesn’t matter whether I do or do not. I’m going to be overusing data no matter what.
Lauren: You are absolutely correct about this I just want to let you know this can happens sometimes
John: I see this as somewhat of a scam actually
Lauren: John Believe me, this is not the kind of experience we want our costumers have with our services.
Lauren: We always strive to provide the best possible customer service experience and give accurate information to our Costumers.
We’re always striving. It’s heartening, isn’t it?
No, not really. We have a chatbot, trying to explain something they can’t, continuing to say how customer satisfaction is their priority when it isn’t… But they’re striving! Always striving.
So, I gave my bot “Lauren” another chance.
John: Lauren – can you help? Can we actually talk like humans?
Lauren: John I do apologize for all this inconvenience.
John: See if you can come up with answers. That’s what creates customer satisfaction.
Lauren: You are absolutely correct
Lauren: I just wanted for you all the possibilities that makes the data usage so high
Lauren: This one can be one, I am currently checking for other options and reach the best resolution for you.
John: Okay.
Nothing is resolved.
Lauren is indeed a chatbot, and she just can’t help. Sad, really.
I give up, knowing that the company doesn’t care as much as she’d like me to believe
But of course, when I sign out, I receive the following message.
Lauren : John Thank you for your patience and understanding
Lauren : John it has been a pleasure to assist you today
I hope Bots have a brighter future than this. Or, Lauren, if you’re out there, my apologies.
Regardless, it doesn’t matter if bad customer service comes from a chatbot or a human. It’s still bad customer service.
ALSO READ – 3 Common Retargeting Mistakes That Drive People Crazy
The post Chatbots & Customer Service: Killing Us With Kindness, But Also Frustration appeared first on Wilde Agency.
